ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.12 LE CREUX ES FAIES

Along the coast road at the end of the island there is a prehistoric passage grave, guarded by the Guernsey National Trust, called Le Creux ès Faïes. According to folklore this is the entrance to the fairy world. I’m not sure that any fairies were home when we knocked. The earth around the monument has a grounding vibration, very much feeling like a dead end. Although, we didn’t linger too long just in case the Goblin King was in town and looking for company!

“Folklore says every Friday night the fairies would leave the tomb to join the witches’ revels at Le Catioroc and every full moon would see them dance until daybreak at the Mont Saint.“

It is a good smuggling hidey cove and could have been the fairy equivalent of the Alexandra Palace as the views from the mound are outstanding and the acoustics are pretty divine! All night fairy raves can probably continue in Guernsey like no where else in the world because the island’s border remains closed. We left some miniature whistles and tiny glow sticks as offerings and repeated three Calvin Harris anthem lyrics as we toddler bopped in the space and waving our hands up in the air feeling like we were at a Tomorrow Land headlining set.

A good tractor is always a bonus too. And these posts are helping me to feel more confident about exploring the world of G-Land (with a small ‘g’) with mini me, my toddler.

UPYOURSCORONA!!!

One hundred things to do in guernsey when the rest of the world has gone to sh*t! No.11 The Children’s bathing pool, La Valette

A bit choppy this morning!

This morning we ventured out into the storm for a swim at La Valette. It was divine! Just as it had started to rain it was time to get out. The waves were pretty raucous and it was lovely to pootle about in the guarded pool.

One hundred things to do in Guernsey when the rest of the world has gone to sh*t! No.10 Saumarez Park

Children’s Garden of remembarence 2002

The big pirate ship for 7 – 12 year olds

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Sumptuous autumnal mulch!

This is a beautiful playground for children of all ages. My toddler loves it! The wind kicking up the leaves is magical, it brought pure joy to his rosy cheeks. We are very lucky in Guernsey to be able to continue to go about our daily business with relative normality, and ease. The guilt is tangible, and you can taste it in the air we freely and lovingly breathe. It’s a heavy freedom. Even more so by the recent death of local figure Zef Eisenberg, who was very much behind the charity who redeveloped the playground https://eisenbergracing.com/saumarez-park-playground/ Heartbreaking news of his death pierced through the usual covid updates, a sad and sorry ending for Zef, who died trying to break a landspeed record in the UK https://eisenbergracing.com/about/ The madmax race team were often at community events, revving up engines and doing doughnuts in closed car parks to crowds cheering.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/josieayre1/things-all-youll-only-know-if-you-come-from-guernsey

100 THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.9 LE DEHUS DOLMEN

“Find Dehus Dolmen by travelling east from L’Ancresse  turn left into the road just in front of Sarnia Controls. Or, travel north from Bordeaux Harbour for about a quarter of a mile and look out for the sign on the lamp post on the right at the first corner. The site is about 150m on the left. There is parking for one car to the right of the mound. Open 9am until sunset. Free admission. Perry’s Guide Ref: 7 H4” http://www.megalithicguernsey.co.uk/le_dehus_dolmen/

Dehus Dolmen is a prehistoric passage grave approximately 10 metres in length. One of the capstones has a remarkable carving of a man featuring a bearded face, arms and hands, with what appears to be a strung bow, and a series of symbolic designs, known as ‘The Guardian of the Tomb’. Large quantities of finds dating from 3,500-20,00BC have been found at the site, including lots and lots of limpet shells. And body bones. It is a magical place. We didn’t stay too long (the hand in the photo of the front door to the dolmen is my son’s… once you see it!). We had parked the car near to Beaucette Marina and stumbled upon this during our walk – what a lovely surprise! Many moons ago I took a daytrip to the standing stones at Rollrite, Long Compton, Oxfordshire. Back then we had a lie down in the centre of the stones for a while and could tune into the ancient whooshing whirls around the circle. Today, at Dehus Dolmen, we clambered onto the top of the mound and just enjoyed the view.

100 THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.8 THE FERMAIN VALLEY TEA ROOMS

At the time of writing this Guernsey is in ‘Stage 5c’ of exit from Covid lockdown. Whilst it sounds like a diagnosis for a devastating and heartbreaking tumour, it actually means that life goes on with whimsical alacrity on the island: we just cannot leave. If we do leave, we must self-isolate for 14 days on return. And, that is devastating and heartbreaking because this is truly prohibitive for most people to do without going insane. The world is not a safe place in 2020. In Guernsey, it is almost normal, yet people who break isolation rules can be fined thousands of pounds, and named and shamed in the local media. When the UK announced a second national lockdown to flatten the curve of the second wave of coronavirus infections and deaths, we went to the Fermain Valley to drink tea and eat cake. That discomfortable feeling of surviving in a time of global heartache and upheaval is very real, very raw and crushing on the best of worst days. I will call this the ‘Bezos effect.’ So, we fuel up on cake to emit and radiate positive love vibes across the universe! If this had happened a decade or so ago, I am not sure if I could have got through lockdown in the UK on a shitty salary, a shed load of debt, sky-high rent, shitty people in my life and barely enough leftover each month to buy a two-stick kitkat with. Upyourscorona!!!

The chocolate orange gluten free cake was delicious

Lovely wallpaper

A tearoom with a view

That day we all did tea and enough cake to feel okay with the fact that the rest of the world had gone to sh*t! All that was missing was the tourists.

100 THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.7 THE RONEZ NATURE TRAIL AT LES VARDES QUARRY

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We did see some big machines in action, and watched a large digger make a slow ascent back to base

A lesson in quarrying Guernsey Granite, the stuff that local Guernsey folk are made out of!

Great to see the quarry in operation before clock off time at 3pm on a Friday afternoon!

There is a nature trail around the perimeter of Les Vardes quarry, it’s steep, and uneven terrain and we struggled with our off-roading Mountain Buggy but we made it all the way around! We went on a gloriously sunny Friday afternoon and enjoyed the route. Thank you Ronez! Next time we will bring a picnic and enjoy the view looking out to Port Grat and Rousse.

This ‘island wiki’ gives you an overview of quarrying on the rock:

https://www.theislandwiki.org/index.php/Ronez