Monthly Archives: January 2020

Lovers of liberty!

I am now 14 days in and have not purchased a single new item of clothing, or a second hand item for that matter.

A strange, perverse freedom has taken over and I no longer trawl through reels and reels of online clothing brands searching for the holiest of holy grail garments that might make me feel better about being a scummy mummy… I do that less, now. A lot. A lot less. I still look but it’s getting better.

I sorted through my wardrobe and imagined all of the outfits I would wear now that I will be wearing the same things all year. Praise be. Blessed be the fruit. I just need to lose the baby weight! It is coming off and sleep is getting better. We co-sleep, keeping the umbilical connection strong as we snuggle or hold hands throughout the night. I just get the feeling that it’s ok that my little one needs comfort and reassurance through the night, for whatever reason. Sarah Ockwell-Smith is my go to guru on all things sleep related. No, I will not let my baby make himself sick by crying it out so that he learns to stop crying. He still has his newborn cries/sounds for hunger – that’s because we have been 100% responsive to his needs and cues since he has been born. I love that. Life will never be the same! I am grateful and thankful for that too.

I hope that I can squeeze more Buti yoga into my life once I have stopped being down with the sickness – fluella benjamin has been in the neighborhood for a while now…

A part of me is still desperate to buy new clothes and get caught by the buzz of wearing something new. The other, deeper part of me feels a renewed sense of grounding down into this year, exploring the parts of me that I wish to expand, and those I wish to release back into the wild.

I am also following my instincts that I am not experiencing postnatal depression. I am feeling trapped and restricted at times and I lash out, I feel anger/hurt/a wound that I cannot reach. I also feel like my hormones are on fire and that I can take action to soothe and settle my flow, my cycle, my fire. Evening Primrose Oil and CBD/Cannabis oil are my go to’s. And exercise, when I am well rested enough to lean into a session fully.


Namaste. x

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Once I am over the flu…

Little one is coming up to 10 months old. In the space around his needs and time we spend nurturing and loving the little lion man, I hope I can find room for more trampolining, Buti Yoga, sea swimming and running alongside water (sea or reservoir).

Yesterday we made it outside for a long walk around the reservoir – I love the area. On reflection, you get all that you need – earth (mud + mulch), air (the wind rips across the sea and through the reservoir valley), fire (a hard, low sun came out and it was glorious), water (sea scapes and the reservoir, and some beautiful streams). Beautiful.

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Let the New Twenties be about Sustainability.

This year I have made a promise to myself to stop buying new clothes – at 23:59 last night I was desperately trying to buy a new quilted coat and I had to stop myself. Enough. I need to act now in order to change my behaviours and habits in order to create a more sustainable way of living for myself, and family, and the world. It’s that bland and simple. I don’t want to be conscious of a problem and belong to it. It feels like a chalky, milk of magnesium kind of stomach swirl to talk about, not buying any new clothes. It feels awkward, unshakably uncool and shameful. I picked up a pinafore, a summer shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms yesterday – yet I could fill a rubbish dump with the amount of clothes I do not have the confidence or figure to wear. And no more internet shopping. No more endless scrolling, looking at things that do not fit me, and clothes that will make me feel like I am not good enough….

Fight Club

This January will be filled with a Gutright Protocol, a reflexology session, a lymphatic massage, a gong bath and a good hair cut/colour. I will be wearing 2019 for the next 365 days, amen, A’ho! Na-maste-slay.

I grew up watching Ferngully, joining Friends of the Earth and the Worldwide Fund For Nature, and watching The Smoggies every Sunday morning. Yet, I am an accomplice in destroying our precious planet earth because I choose lazy, easy, cheap over ethical, sustainable and equitable human rights. I see me. I hope that I can change. I hope that the journey changes me and helps other people too.

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