‘A walk through the lanes’ is treasured pastime of many islanders. A walk through the lanes in the summer rain is sometimes just what you need to cope with the politics and being cut off from the rest of the world. There are no flights out available for a good while! Border restrictions are easing off from 1st July 2021. If you have had the double jab (I have been double Pfzered!!) you can travel freely to certain places, without quarantining on return, just as long as you can be sensible where you’re going and when you come back, y’all!! I know, it’s a lot. I am giddy excited to see my family who are flying over mid-July.
It is Guernsey jumper weather today. It’s actual correct term is ‘a Guernsey.’ The national colour of a Guernsey, is navy. You can wear a Guernsey all year round because the weather is usually all seasons in one day.
We saluted the Summer Solstice sunrise with our feet in warm boots, our coats buttoned up to our noses and are hoods up to keep the rain out of our eyeballs!!! Praise be! May the days get shorter! “Hello Summer, f*ck off June!” And then we all went back to bed where we wish that we had stayed.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin
We did find a pair of soggy underpants on the slipway. There was further evidence that Guernsey could be to dogging, what Vegas is for gamblers? If we took a black light on that slipway as the sun was still hush at 4.30am it could have lit up like the Blackpool pleasure beach?
The Guernsey ‘parliament’ had a torrid debate last week about the future ports and harbour developments grand flashy masterplan, with little or no mention of what to do about its coastal sex litter problem. Tut, tut. Controversial plans to fill in Belle Greve Bay could lead to an exponential increase in the number of alfresco sexy hokey kokey spots: https://guernseypress.com/news/2021/06/21/fears-that-infill-of-belle-greve-could-be-back-on-the-agenda/ Guernsey, bringing sexy back always, despite the covid pandemic! Hurraaaah!
For just twelve crisp Guernsey quiddies we had an hour of fun and (entirely innocent) frolicks in the bay. There is a clear guide to where you can and cannot paddle around the bay. And the board’s were great. They carried me and my gigantic-baby-weight-backside fine! Phew! I fell in twice but luckily the bay is proper sheltered from a busy road of constant streaming traffic so I don’t think that anybody did see me, very much.
We went along at low tide, mid-morning, and there was a delicious and constant ebb and flow of hot buff Dad bods swimming and boarding. This confirmed my unofficial theory that Cobo is probably one of the sexiest bays on the island. Further evidence that Cobo might be one of the sexiest bays on the island is the sheer amount of sex litter we witnessed.
In a dark room and under a UV light those underpants might light up like the rotary club Tree of Joy at Christmas time? We also found various sex wrappers in a state of undress around the kiosk. Whilst it sounds like a documentary in the making that is waiting for Stacey Dooley to shoot, it left me wondering how outdoor sex could be so mind blowing that you abandon all sense of using the bins provided or putting your undies back on afterwards? I just don’t have any other words in the bag to express my horror and curiosity about all of this, at this time. ‘Fraid that it’s a Simon Cowell kind-of-no from me, unless proven otherwise, car park sex won’t cut the final list of things to do in Guernsey when the rest of the world has gone to sh*t. (*such prudish and judgemental viewpoints are subject to change, by reservation of the management of this blog, at any given time of sex-oh-clock aaah lololols).