Monthly Archives: December 2020

ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.18 MONT CHINCHON BATTERY

Mont Chinchon battery was also known as Druids Altar Battery due to its close proximity to Le Trepied dolmen. In 1801 the battery had two 20 pounder cannons which would have been manned by the Guernsey Militia. A magazine was also recorded in 1816, which would have held black powder and shot for the guns. The site was dismantled by the German occupying forces to make way for more modern defences. The construction of a cutting for a railway line also damaged the rear of the battery and the magazine. After the 1940’s the battery fell into disrepair. In 2006 work began to restore the battery and was completed in 2008. 

[source: http://www.museums.gov.gg/batteries%5D
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ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.17 ROCKPOOLING AT PORT SOIF BEACH

We had went for a wander along Port Soif beach in the grey misty dirge of December in Sarnia Cherie, gem of the sea. Winter is a brutal time on a small rock that is only 12 miles long. When the wind is blowin’ a hoolie it is hard to be active outdoors, especially when the sky is the colour of cheap grey marl leisure wear. Port Soif is a horseshoe shaped bay, at low tide the rock pools stretch out far into the distance. In the summertime swimming at sunset, at high tide, across the golden white(ish) sand is sublime. I miss those summer evenings meeting friends for a swim and to bathe in the sunshine streaming down into the bottom of the skyline – pure bliss! I think that is why wintertime is like being Lord Commander of the Night Watch, you know? The sun rising so late, at 8 oh clock, and setting at 4 oh clock(ish) is so heavy on the soul. I am going to cry so many buckets of joy when I finally see my family on the other side of vaccination street. The heavy energy in the air is an unbearable weight at the best of worst times. Rockpooling at Port Soif at (‘David Bowie kind of’) “Low” tide most bodaciously took the edge of it!

*I am not using a filter on any of these photos. Unfiltered Guernsey is a real gem, and much better than anything fake plastic and dishonest.

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ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.15 TOWN CHURCH

We had a mooch around the charity christmess trees that had been put up in the Town Church today. I don’t think I have ever been in there?! Only a decade into my Guernsey sentence and I am still doing new things for the first time! It is a truly beautiful church. If my husband does the big legs and I ever have to get married again, I would love to get married here please! Yes, yes, yes! Next time it would be lovely to fly Church of England. https://www.townchurch.net/ For a short history lesson, go here: http://www.museums.gov.gg/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=76720&p=0

ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.14 LATE NIGHT CHRISTMESS SHOPPING

Zero social distancing, scant hand sanitization, mobs out celebrating with an early supper en masse and squashed queues inside small shops was witnessed at every turn. It was beginning to look a lot like normal christmess in St Peter Port last night (as per tradition we celebrate the christmessy capitalist crushes on the Thursday evenings). Parking at North Beach car park was a bit of a tight peach. Plaisirs, a shop that sells superliscious Neom candles, were handing out fizzy alcoholic shots. Music was playing in the High Street and yet it did not snow. Late night shopping whilst the rest of the world has gone to sh*t wasn’t so bad.

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ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T! NO.13 OATY & JOEY’S PLAYBARN

Oaty & Joey’s playbarn at Oatland’s is a magical (and very clean) place for children to play and for adults to get sweaty running around after them. My mini-me is charged three pound fiddy and for that he can run riot!!! We are very lucky to be able to enjoy Guernsey village’s soft play centre. Strapped to the ceiling is Joey, an old aeroplane that once serviced the Chanel Islands. We go a few hours before school kick-out times so that my toddler can dominate the play areas that are designated for his kind. (I’m not going to say too much about Oatland’s itself as I am conscious that I have another 70ish things to do….).

We are all stuck on the rock, trapped, but covid-free. The village-island has less than a handful of cases. I often think of the intense boredom and anguish that many people are going through by isolating for fourteen days. I respect their individual efforts and I am grateful that they have made a great sacrifice to keep the rest of the island safe. That takes a whole lotta love!!! Peace and love to all who have self-isolated, all who are self-isolating now, and all who may have to self-isolate in the future!! Big salute and socially distanced ‘air’ squishy hug kisses to you all!!!

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