ONE HUNDRED THINGS TO DO IN GUERNSEY WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS GONE TO SH*T NO.37 ALDERNEY LIGHTHOUSE (ALDERNEY)

The greatest spectacle along the coast is the tide itself. Alderney is the Channel Island nearer to the French coast, and surrounded by two strong currents: the Swinge and the Alderney Race. Located at the eastern end, Mannez Lighthouse has watched over sailors trying to challenge the treacherous and tumultuous waters of Alderney since 1912. We watched the Alderney Race from a vantage point overlooking the Channel, and it was fierce.

I had never fully appreciated or realised how small Alderney island truly is. Guernsey, by comparison to the UK, is hobbit sized. However, in Guernsey, you can go for years and years without bumping into the same person twice. In Alderney, you will see everybody that you know before you can squeeze the juice out of a breakfast orange. And now, as I write this, the island is now in the grip of its own private covid hell. There has been a sudden (and expected) outbreak, with the first case confirmed. I would lose my sh*t if I had to self isolate in this stinking hot heat! F*ck you covid and all of the misery that you bring. Although Alderney may be small, it is fierce, as you can tell by the hurdy swirling eddies and whorls that guard it. (The Swinge’ sounds like one of my husband’s ex-girlfriends!)

‘Aahaaa!’ is one of my toddler’s favourite words at the moment. They push you to the edge and then melt your heart in one swift, swooshy moosh of a moment. Last night, after we called bedtime after the third wobbly outburst of mixed emotions, my toddler got up in my grill and with perfect pointing said, ‘eyes, nose, mouth!’ Just like that! Aahhaaa!! And, I melted. What a cutie, I think we will keep him.